Come and Rest

Come and rest, she calls in the whisper of the wind.  And my hair dances on my face like a million little finger tips, gently caressing… The time has come again, for the world to rest.  The moon rises, and she smiles as we drift to sleep… to dream… to explore…

In darkness, my body is soft and round.  My hands travel down my face, where the lines remind me of sadness and joy, all wrapped up in the story of my eyes and mouth.  My neck, where my voice resides, I feel the pulsation of my heart, and my breath as it travels slowly in and out of my body.  I take a moment to pause on the round breasts that remind me of my womanhood, my someday motherhood, and my ever present sexuality.  They gently rise and fall with each breath, like wings.  Further down to my big belly that bubbles with excitement.  It is soft and radiant.  This big belly, holds my life force, deep within, I can feel it.  I travel even further down, to my sex.  Warm and inviting.  Again, pulsing.  Down further, where my strong legs hold up my body.  They carry me through the day.  And finally, my feet that remind me of where I have walked, and where I have yet to travel.

I need the rest that the winter brings.  I often resist it.  This big life, needs big rest.  This big body needs replenishment in order to meet the new challenges ahead.  Dear Moon, keep the light at bay long enough to restore me.  Now, to dream, to explore, to rest…

I am Sad Tonight

I am sad tonight.  I am not sure why.  I am listening to music that is conjuring up feelings of sorrow.  Sadness is something, that as a culture, we often repress.  Repress with drugs, alcohol, food.  We ignore, or we quickly find something else to think about.  No one wants to feel sadness.

I experience sadness in the back of my throat, and it often pulses down towards my middle.  My stomach tenses with intensity.  My eyes burn with tears.  My head can by dizzy, and for a moment, I wonder if I will ever be happy again.  This is my real sadness.  This is the sadness that ignites in the depth of my being.  It is a pain that I have only truly felt maybe 3 times in my life.  The 3 times all involved the death of someone.  A person I had known a while, a person I barely knew, and a part of me that needed to die.

I invite you to feel the sadness.  Don’t push it away, for what is behind the sadness?  You won’t know, unless you push through.  Through our quiet teardrops, or our screams of rage, the walls cannot break without pure feeling.  Mourn the wall, but let it break.  There is a new dawn on the other side.

I want the new dawn.  I will relish in the sadness tonight, the darkness.  I have faith that my wall is still coming down.  There is something I am beginning to ravish in, and I need it now.  I crave it.  But for now, I weep.